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Staple guns - because duct tape can't make that "Ka-CHUNK" noise
- xkcd

Friday, February 15

I'm pretty sure I'm awesome.



I got bored today in physics, so I drew stuff. I was very tired, and the math was getting to me.


















Friday, January 18

Well, it's been a pretty good 360 days since my last post. Go me!

I've made a few updates (ie. changed a link or two). Also, I have a rant, if you care to hear it.

You do? That's splendid.

I WANT YOU to turn off your cell phone

I don't own a cell phone. I don't want a cell phone. I don't need a cell phone. And neither do you!

There's this marvelous thing called a "regular" phone. It works great! You plug it in to the wall at your house, and leave it there when you leave the house!

"But Owen!" the crowd screams, "how shall we stay in touch when we're on the go?" I have a little secret for you: you don't need to! Yes, despite marketing campaigns that suggest otherwise, you do not need to be able to talk and text everywhere you go (except for two cases, discussed shortly).

Despite my rant, I don't hate cell phones in themselves. They can be useful, mainly for two purposes:
1. Emergencies - if I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and my car implodes, I'm gonna want to be able to get some help. This is a valid reason for owning a cell phone.
2. Asshole - if I want to piss off absolutely everyone around me, a cell phone is the perfect tool. It can make loud noises during tests, interrupt friendly conversations, rot my brain, etc. This is not a valid reason for owning a cell phone.

For those still skeptical, I give you this challenge: next Monday, get a sheet of paper, notepad, your left arm, or whatever. Every 5 minutes, write down where you are and what you're doing. If you're at work or class, don't bother writing it 40 times.

Go do that. I'll wait.

Done? Good.

Now, take a look at your list. Start by crossing off every place where talking on or using a cell phone would be inappropriate (ex. class, work, movie theater). Done? Good. Now, cross off all times when you wouldn't want your cell phone to ring (ex. eating lunch, napping, doing homework, working out). Finished yet? Good. Now, cross off all the ones where your cell phone ringing would be bothersome or annoying to others (ex. on a bus, talking to a friend, late at night). Complete? Alright, last one - cross off any remaining ones where you are at home (or wherever your permanent land line is).

Congratulations! You're done! Now, the remaining lines are the times during the day where a cell phone could potentially be useful. Out of your total starting lines, how many do you have left?

Half? A quarter?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Obviously, your cell phone is less useful than you thought, and almost always inappropriate.

Now that I've handed you your ass on a plate, I'll put some icing on it - most cell phone users pay $50 per month (source). That's $600 per year, not counting the cost of the cell phone itself, weighing in at around $200 (source).

How much do you think I pay for my phone service?

$30.

Per year.

That's right, per year. I get unlimited long distance to anywhere in North America, anywhere I can log onto a computer with speakers and a mic. And, voice quality is almost as good as regular long distance (with decent internet speed). My cordless handset cost about $55 from Amazon.com.

This rant is spawned out of annoyance not only of how people use their cell phones, but also of how they misuse them. Let's face it - is there anyone that has been in a test, at a meeting, in a theater, or eating dinner who hasn't been annoyed at the obnoxious sound of a cell phone ringing? And don't count on vibrate mode to be of much help - it still makes a loud buzzing sound. Why even put it on vibrate mode? If you're doing something important enough that you don't want to be interrupted by a cell phone, why do you want it to tell you you're missing a call?

In conclusion, don't buy a cell phone. If you own one, turn it off or leave it at home when you don't need it. It won't kill you.

Tuesday, January 23

Alright, the hottest new game has just been released. People of the internet, I give you: BLINGO!



Now, for the rules.

This game is played while listening to a rap song. If the rapper says one of the things in " ", you get the square. If the rapper does or mentions something else on the card, you get the square - it's as simple as that.

Now, unlike ordinary bingo, there are four ways to win Blingo: the bling, the ass, the gun, or full card.



If you win, you can congratulate yourself on becoming that much dumber. I mean, you'cn congat yoself on gettin' dumba, yo.


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